Create Your Own Disease for Fun and Profit!

Brilliant! That is all I can say about Mike Adams, the Health Ranger. Create your own disease for fun and profit.

Source: Natural News

Here is my disease:

Intermittent Defiant Mental Disorder With Constipation (IDMDWC)

IDMDWC primarily involves unpredictable episodes or experiences characterized by the presence of extreme anger towards authority figures when engaging in strenuous cognitive activity, exacerbated by an uncomfortable and unnatural inability to defecate.

Source: Page 1034 of the DSM-IV-FE*

Found the disease you like? Take these steps to get filthy rich!

1. Patent a dangerous chemical as a “treatment” for IDMDWC.
2. Invent fictitious trial results that prove the drug is effective in treating IDMDWC.
3. Bribe FDA officials into approving the drug as safe for everyone! (Even if it kills people.)
4. Submit to the American Psychiatric Association for inclusion in their DSM-IV (the standard reference guide of psychiatric disorders).
5. Create an emotional TV ad that shows unhappy, confused people being transformed into perfect beings after they take your drug.
6. Issue press releases to mainstream media outlets who will run your propaganda as news with zero skepticism.
7. Bribe doctors with vacations, extravagant meals and “consulting fees” in order to get them to prescribe your drug to as many patients as possible.
8. Buy off politicians and legislators to block alternative medicine and enforce a pharmaceutical monopoly.
9. Sit back and rake in the dough** while Americans go broke buying your drug to treat IDMDWC!
10. When the lawsuits roll in from the families of dead patients, simply use a small portion of your windfall profits to settle out of court, admitting no guilt.

The Disease Mongering Engine is a satirical commentary on various matters we believe to be of public concern and are offered as Free Speech within the protection of the First Amendment to the US Constitution.